Thursday, November 02, 2006

Beauty and the Beast

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl who met and married an ugly beast of a man. He was a man who lacked a compass to navigate the complicated waters of life. Because of how he expressed his anger, he couldn't even hold a job at Burger King. Beast's most stable job since marrying Beauty had been growing and selling drugs. After six years of abuse, broken promises and three children together, Beauty decided that she had enough; she kicked the Beast out on his ugly head and washed her hands of him, or so it seemed.

All of her friends and family applauded her decision and supported her. But then Beauty did something scandalous. She told the Beast that if he died and came back to life as a real man, literally changing his identity, even his name, disposing of all his animal ways in exchange for humanity, then—and only then—would she take him back.

Repeatedly she was told, "Beauty, this is a price that he cannot pay, and it's a chance that he doesn't deserve to be given!" Every time her answer is the same: "I know all of that, but I love him anyway."

Beast has spent the past 10 months in a treatment program sorting his life out, wrestling with 30 years worth of dysfunction so that he could begin to rebuild as a new man. The hope that keeps him going is that Beauty would give him one more undeserved chance if he could figure our how to kill the beasts that had ruled his life for so long. For most people, the scandal is strangely palpable—and beautiful. Others have made no room for this new man in their hearts and lives; they refuse to forget or forgive.


Lately I've been asked over and over to talk about how we are supposed to balance the idea of Grace with Justice… or acceptance and accountability.

I have struggled with how to blog about this… I'm not a writer. Nobody reads long blogs and I want to produce something that's palpable.

So here's my abbreviated attempt at Grace and Truth.

GRACE:

Grace could be defined as the undeserved favor of God toward people. It's something we've not earned and that we don't deserve. Grace is the first ingredient necessary for us to be whole, healthy, mature people. In Christian-eese I would say that Grace is the first thing needed to grow into the image of God. It's a main ingredient found in the Garden of Eden. Adam and eve were secure; no shame or anxiety. They could be who they truly were.

TRUTH:

Truth is what's real. It describes reality. Truth is the second ingredient needed to live the best possible life for now and eternity.

Grace is the RELATIONAL ASPECT OF GOD'S CHARACTER.
Truth is the STRUCTURAL ASPECT OF GOD'S CHARACTER.

TRUTH WITH OUT GRACE IS JUDGEMENT

Truth sends us straight to hell. Truth before relationship (Grace) brings guilt, anger, anxiety, and more.

GRACE WITH OUT TRUTH IS LICENSE

License allows people do what they want to do. Laziness, irresponsibility, procrastination, alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancy… this and more is a look into license without structure.

Beauty let Beast abuse her and get away with a non-structure for 6 years. She showed Grace (license) without truth (structure). When she combined Grace and Truth, she found new freedom for herself. She realized that she could create healthy structure that would protect her and her kids. She balanced that with Grace (which came easy for her) and found hope for a good relationship. When she combined Grace and Truth, it created freedom in Beasts life, too. Beast was shown a consequence for his actions (structure, truth) and when Beauty offered him an opportunity be in relationship with her (within healthy guidelines), then Beast found motivation attempt change. Combining Grace and Truth brings freedoms to us and others.

There are some of my thoughts.

With that in mind, do you have specific questions or situations to discuss? "What do I do if….?"