We aren't the future

We are so much more than our future.

I hate to admit this in such a public place; a place that simply begs for criticism that you can keep hidden from me. Deep sigh, here we go... I used to have a poster of Whitney Houston on the wall of my bedroom. Gulp. I’m bracing myself for the sound of laughter, but I’m alone now. You haven’t read this yet.

Although confession is quite a relief, I didn’t tell you that just to confess my teenage dorkiness. I’m tying to go somewhere with this, so hang with me.

Second embarrassing Whitney-related confession: One of the first CD’s that I ever owned was a Whitney Houston CD. I MUST clarify that I didn’t go out and buy this CD – it just came with the CD player that I bought from my Aunt. I know I’m alone here at my computer, but I honestly found myself preparing for another round of laughter.

On that CD, Whitney sang these words (I am quoting them from memory)

“People say the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead
the way”

Although I could quote more - much more, that’s all that pertains to this particular ramble.

“YOUNG PEOPLE ARE THE FUTURE!” – too often this misguided mantra permeates our thoughts, programs, strategies, and teachings. I spent MANY years working with teenagers around the world - this is a pretty common battle cry.

“Sometimes I think we sacrifice present purpose while looking for future greatness” – Joe Green

Lol. I just quoted myself. That’s got to be some literary faux pas.

Whitney grew up in church. So did Elvis and Marilyn Manson. I wonder – just speculation here – if people were more interested in what they were going to be rather than what they were right then and now?

Even though I started by quoting Whitney’s thoughts about children, my overarching thoughts aren’t exclusively about young people.

Although I agree that preparing for the future is REALLY important, sometimes I think we are so preoccupied with “what’s next?” that we miss out on what is happening now.

Are you thinking about what you have to do next? I mean it… right now are YOU slightly anxious because there are other things to be doing? Other people you should be with or chores to be done? Is this normal?

We are not the future. If you and I are similar at all, then sometimes you struggle with being fully present right here, right now. Maybe you’re present in your body, but your mind and attention is really somewhere else. If we’re similar then sometimes you are playing with your kids while trying to figure out what you’re going to do about a situation you have to deal with later… or you’re thinking about something at work… or wondering how long you ‘have’ to play with these Barbies. But, you’re not at work or doing a chore. You’re playing with your kids. Now.
Sometimes present relationships suffer because of our preoccupation with what’s next.

Personally speaking – in my time alone with God today, I was reminded that this church that we’re planting isn’t JUST something that is “going to be great someday”. See, I’ve found myself looking so far into the future that I forgot for a second that we are a church RIGHT NOW. This church that we are starting isn’t only a future reality, it’s a present reality. I have to lead like we are a church right now. The future of our church is important, but not more important than our present purpose, our present people, or our current victories. I made a choice to stop today and celebrate what we ARE, before I started working toward the future.

Want to join me in trying to be ‘fully present’ wherever we are today (and tomorrow)? Maybe we could have one less place to go after this and stay in that place a bit longer?

I have to go now… I’m supposed be somewhere.


---joe

p.s. If you are close to my age, I bet you have that Whitney song in your head.

...but don't stay that way

Come as you are, but don't stay that way.

Will you accept me for who I am now? With all my baggage that I bring to this relationship? Or would you prefer me to hide my faults, my insecurities, my addictions, my immaturity, and my sin?

Would you like me more if I only showed you my healthy character traits? Would be my friend longer if I kept the ugly parts of me a secret to you? Will you make fun of me behind my back if I tell you some of my weird thoughts? Will you stop calling me if I tell you my marriage is in trouble?

There's a subtle message that I've picked up in the "church". I've only recognized it in the past 5 years or so. It's the message that tell us that God's grace is what gets us to heaven and it's a beautiful thing, but almost right away you are 'supposed' to grow up to live an 'acceptable' christian standard. The subtle message in the 'church' tells me that most Christians are more interested in an outward conformity than with inward growth.

As long as you "don't do" certain outward things like smoke, drink, cuss, or have sex outside of marriage, then you pass the test and can 'join' (or stay in) the club. And as long as you read the bible, attend church and have a regular 'quiet time' - you're acceptable and desirable here. Even if on the inside you are still controlled by fears, greed, jealousy, insecurities, anxiety, or emotionally shut down. Even if you are secretly addicted to material possession, a glutton, filled with lust, or rage - just don't let it show and you can be viewed as a successful and upstanding Christian.

I think that the scripture makes it clear that people don't grow spiritually if they are exclusively conforming outwardly. Too many people start with Grace and then move backwards and try to become acceptable on their own efforts. That's anti-grace. We can't make ourselves acceptable... our efforts have nothing to do with it. God's Grace takes us "as is".

Paul writes in Galatians 3 "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"

Come as you are, but don't stay that way. It's time to grow up, but how?

I'm trying to grow; become a better, more healthy person. I'm trying to grow for my sake... but also for yours. If I grow up, then I participate in making this world a better place to live. I'm learning that if i truly want to grow, then I have to stop pretending, hiding. To many, that proves too flipin' difficult with in the church context.

I wish I had more time to develop this next concept, but i don't... so just trust me on it. GROWTH HAPPENS BEST IN THE CONTEXT OF RELATIONSHIPS. As a matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say that Growth can't happen outside of loving relationships.

Growing up is a messy process. There's messy diapers, then they learn to feed themselves (and get food everywhere!), then there's puberty (aaarrrggh!), then the 'who am i?' crisis in college. Mid-life crisis? Spiritual growth isn't much different.

Help me accept people for who they are right now. And will you help me allow people to grow from there - wherever there is? I don't want to do this alone, it's too messy. Let's you and I re-write the 'church's' subtle message to say something different... something less anti-grace. Something less anti-christ.

I'm convince that God is asking us to to be open and honest about our baggage. He's not very helpful in healing us if we hide our diseases.

Of course we don't want people to be alcoholics or remain addicted to porn or continue to abuse women!!! Of course not! So WE HAVE TO provide a place where people can tell their struggles in a safe environment.

The church was never meant to be a 'place' or a 'building' - it's meant to be people who are loving God and others... will you join me in being a 'people' who allows others to identify, out loud, the areas that they need to grow?

Come as you are, but don't stay that way.

I want to be a better person, too - for you - for me.

GRACE: Come as you Are

"The world can do almost anything as well or better than the church. You need not be a Christian to build houses, feed the hungry, or heal the sick. There is only one thing the world cannot do. It cannot offer grace" – Gordon MacDonald.

Grace says that God loves your right now, just like you are. Then why does the 'church' or christianity get labeled as intolerant so often?

GRACE: more than tolerance

Tolerance: "sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own."

Why do I think that tolerance is a cheap substitute for grace?

· Doesn't value people only puts up with behavior or beliefs.

· Deals with differences, but doesn't embrace people for their good and bad parts.

· Because tolerance can't label something as "bad" or "wrong" or "sinful" (that wouldn't be tolerant, now would it?)

· There's no place for 'justice' in tolerance.

Grace accepts both the good and bad in people…

The world around us is good and bad

Your friends and family are good and bad

YOU are both good and bad

Your enemies are good and bad

Sometimes people have a hard time integrating the good and the bad parts of them. Some people try to hide or ignore the bad, sinful, compulsive, arrogant, or mean parts of themselves. But we are meant to be WHOLE people. There's something healthy about being able to accept myself and others for who they are right now... all of them (or me). Reality is healthy.

If we only acknowlege the good parts of ourselves, then we aren't being honest with who we are, now. We're lying and putting ourselves in unreal relationships - relationships where the bad parts of us are 'off limits' to discuss. If we get stuck in this then we can't change and move beyond our hurts, addictions, anger, etc. When we're in this 'all good' mode, then we de-value ANYthing that doesn't meet our expectations (Unsatisfied in job(s), churches, relationships, etc).

If we go to the "all bad" mode of ourself or the world...

·

End up in a mental hospital

· Depression

· Suicide

· Pessimism

· Hopelessness

· Lying to self and others

If we don't integrate the good and bad parts of us or the world around us, we can't successfully deal with the realities in the world.

We need to be fully integrated people.

Grace allows us to accept the good and bad parts of us and others.

Tolerance doesn't do that because tolerance can't label something as 'bad' or sinful or wrong.

GRACE: means we don't try to fix people.

If you found the mona lisa in your back yard covered in mud, you would be focused on the value of the painting. On the flip-side, if you saw one of my paintings covered in mud, there would be no value in spending anytime trying to clean it – a waste of time.

Back to the mona lisa – you should be excited and nervous to have something so valuable in your care. BECAUSE OF ITS VALUE - you shouldn't try to clean it up yourself, but you should take the art to a master who could guide the restoration process. That's a picture of Grace.

People should be introduced to God who is the master of restoration.

GRACE: ACCEPTANCE
QUESTION: How do we put skin on this kind of Grace?

Romans 15:7 "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

GRACE: NO CONDEMNATION

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Grace is beautiful. Grace is powerful. Grace can acknowlege our shortcomings. Grace takes me as I am.

As is. As we are. As you are. How are you? Do you have Grace toward yourself? Do you re-present God's Grace toward your world? Have you experienced Grace?

I'm trying to be fully integrated myself... celebrating the good parts and accepting the stupid parts. I'm trying to do the same for you.

just some of my late night thoughts.