...but don't stay that way

Come as you are, but don't stay that way.

Will you accept me for who I am now? With all my baggage that I bring to this relationship? Or would you prefer me to hide my faults, my insecurities, my addictions, my immaturity, and my sin?

Would you like me more if I only showed you my healthy character traits? Would be my friend longer if I kept the ugly parts of me a secret to you? Will you make fun of me behind my back if I tell you some of my weird thoughts? Will you stop calling me if I tell you my marriage is in trouble?

There's a subtle message that I've picked up in the "church". I've only recognized it in the past 5 years or so. It's the message that tell us that God's grace is what gets us to heaven and it's a beautiful thing, but almost right away you are 'supposed' to grow up to live an 'acceptable' christian standard. The subtle message in the 'church' tells me that most Christians are more interested in an outward conformity than with inward growth.

As long as you "don't do" certain outward things like smoke, drink, cuss, or have sex outside of marriage, then you pass the test and can 'join' (or stay in) the club. And as long as you read the bible, attend church and have a regular 'quiet time' - you're acceptable and desirable here. Even if on the inside you are still controlled by fears, greed, jealousy, insecurities, anxiety, or emotionally shut down. Even if you are secretly addicted to material possession, a glutton, filled with lust, or rage - just don't let it show and you can be viewed as a successful and upstanding Christian.

I think that the scripture makes it clear that people don't grow spiritually if they are exclusively conforming outwardly. Too many people start with Grace and then move backwards and try to become acceptable on their own efforts. That's anti-grace. We can't make ourselves acceptable... our efforts have nothing to do with it. God's Grace takes us "as is".

Paul writes in Galatians 3 "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"

Come as you are, but don't stay that way. It's time to grow up, but how?

I'm trying to grow; become a better, more healthy person. I'm trying to grow for my sake... but also for yours. If I grow up, then I participate in making this world a better place to live. I'm learning that if i truly want to grow, then I have to stop pretending, hiding. To many, that proves too flipin' difficult with in the church context.

I wish I had more time to develop this next concept, but i don't... so just trust me on it. GROWTH HAPPENS BEST IN THE CONTEXT OF RELATIONSHIPS. As a matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say that Growth can't happen outside of loving relationships.

Growing up is a messy process. There's messy diapers, then they learn to feed themselves (and get food everywhere!), then there's puberty (aaarrrggh!), then the 'who am i?' crisis in college. Mid-life crisis? Spiritual growth isn't much different.

Help me accept people for who they are right now. And will you help me allow people to grow from there - wherever there is? I don't want to do this alone, it's too messy. Let's you and I re-write the 'church's' subtle message to say something different... something less anti-grace. Something less anti-christ.

I'm convince that God is asking us to to be open and honest about our baggage. He's not very helpful in healing us if we hide our diseases.

Of course we don't want people to be alcoholics or remain addicted to porn or continue to abuse women!!! Of course not! So WE HAVE TO provide a place where people can tell their struggles in a safe environment.

The church was never meant to be a 'place' or a 'building' - it's meant to be people who are loving God and others... will you join me in being a 'people' who allows others to identify, out loud, the areas that they need to grow?

Come as you are, but don't stay that way.

I want to be a better person, too - for you - for me.